meeting girls at a cocktail party

How else can you show off your charm during a cocktail party conversation? What if a conversation turns boring, how do you rescue it? (or bail as fast as you can?)

I’ve told you that you should remember people’s names and what they do. It’s very important. It comes in handy when you want to control the pace of the conversation. When you take control, you immediately elevate yourself into a position of slightly higher authority. It’s a socio-psychological thing. When some jerk just won’t stop talking, you could simply divert attention by inviting others to join in the conversation. You can say something like, “so, what do you think John, you’re a lawyer, right?” Also, you can go around asking people’s opinion on just about anything. “What’s your take on this, Sam, our engineer here.” With this simple skill, you can also divert attention away from some boring bastard who thinks he’s the center of the world; you can save a boring conversation from plunging into the depths beyond redemption.

The point is not about the conversation itself. The point is to have the guts to speak up and take control of the pace of the conversation. When you go around and asking people to speak, you’re like the host of a show. You control the conversation. Women will perceive you as someone in power, in control.

This is how you “stand out”, even if you don’t have the looks. It takes practice, this is just a general guideline, attend some parties and develop your own skill.

meeting girls at a cocktail part

If you’re able to control the flow of a conversation, you have an advantage at cocktail parties. Women will be charmed by your confidence and skill.

As I said in the previous article, you should have remembered people’s names and what they do after chatting with them. This information will come in handy. For example, a lady tells you about her home-based small business and how she needs an accountant to help her close the books for the year, and you happened to have met an accountant that evening, you could tell her, “I just happened to know Dave over there, who might be able to help you. Let me introduce.” Then you should accompany her, walk her over to Dave and stay with the conversation as much as possible. Afterwards, ask her if Dave is helpful.

Now, let’s see. You’ve just done her a favor. You’ve given her the impression that you’re well-connected. And if you stayed with the conversation, you’ve shown her that you care enough to make sure Dave is helping her, and also, make sure Dave doesn’t steal her from you!

Damn, I’m smooth. Hope this helps. Go practise, guys!

So, you’re at a cocktail party, dressed to impress. Then you see her. You walk up to say hello and introduce yourself. You feel a rush and you blushed. Your tongue is tied and you didn’t know what else to say. Then, she loses interest and walks away after a superficial “nice meeting you and see you around.”. Bummer! You lost again! Guys, you gotta do better than this.

Now I’m gonna teach you the right way to approach an attractive female in cocktail parties.

There are a few simple rules that you should observe. It’s a cocktail, not a buffet dinner! There might be some finger-food served, but please don’t eat like a pig. Carrying a plate with ten kinds of snacks while struggling with a glass of wine makes you clumsy and silly-looking. Not only will you be unable to shake hands with other people, you will likely spill your wine too. So, it’s better to skip the food entire. Just carry a glass of wine and free up the other hand. If you need to eat, eat quickly and finish as soon as you can.

Remember she also came to the cocktail to meet people. Therefore you shouldn’t monopolize her time. If a third person approaches and try to join in the conversation, don’t feel pressured, and don’t try to shut the other person out either verbally or even physically. It’s simply immature and childish to do so. In fact, you should try to direct the conversation; this will put you in a leadership position among the three (or more) of people talking in the group. And if you have interesting topics and stories to share, she will be impressed.

next time, I’ll teach you how to manipulate conversation topics…good luck guys

Attitude is the key of getting girls. You do not need to have a perfectly handsome look of Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt to be able to score hot girls; you just need to have a charismatic attitude. A large part of being smooth lies on showing your unique attitude. It’s the attitude that triggers seduction and emotional wants from the opposite sex.

What’s ‘charismatic’ means in girls mind? Should you be a super nice guy? NO. Be the opposite of it. This is the only important thing to remember if you forget everything from this post. Why being a super nice guy won’t get your any girls? Because there are all other men out there are the nice guys! You do not stand out in front of girls by being another ‘ nice guy. Period.

Attractive girls always have a crush (or fall in love) with bad guys, like rockstar, motorcycle rebels, cowboys, etc. Why? Because they are rebels, unique in a male seductive ways, and female likes it. Humans are mammals, which are no different from animals; female is attracted to male’s dominant genres, power, and conquering attitude.

Don’t get us wrong, you do not really need to play guitar, ride motorcycle to get girls (of course that would help though), you just need to have the same ‘bad guy’ attitude. This attitude can be learnt. We will discuss about this in the later posts. To start with, just remember not to do what a normal nice guy would do, and they you are already half way through success.

All the nerds are thinking, to be able to score girls, you need to be super nice guy, like calling the girls all the time, treating them for dinners, walking them home, in order to show your interest, right? WRONG! Wake up guys, be Cool. Let me tell you all, to be able to score girls, you need to be the exact opposite! How?

Be different - Be opposite to a nice guy! Never explicitly praise a girl, never buy girls dinner, never ‘walk’ the girl home, never call the girls, never buy girls gift in any non-special occasion. Yes you hear us right! Do the opposite things to what all the nice guys do. Good news for you: Being a cool guys is pretty easy, do not do anything, keep the girls guessing. Now this is different!

Seductive Attitude - Then all of you are going to ask: Okay I could not do all the above, then what can I do? Be more ‘Proud’ about yourself in front of girls, and show in actions that the girls (even the drop-dead gorgeous ones that you are dying to get) are not that important to you. We are not asking you to praise yourself all the time, but we are asking you to act like a jerk in front of girls to seduce them. You need to have the attitude that you are giving the girls a chance to meet you, rather than you give them a chance. Stop making her think that she’s the center of attention. YOU are the center of attention. The strategy is to be in front of the girls, but treat them as normal people (less important than you). Show the girls that they are just normal people. Do not panic because you like that girl

Seductive Tease - This is a further step to get girls once you master the chill and jerk attitude. Instead of praising the girls all the time (which 1000 other normal guys do), tease the girls. Yes you heard me right! Tease them. How? Try this: Instead of saying ‘Wow your hair is beautiful’, playfully tease the girls and say ‘Haha you hair looks like a wig!’ and touch on their hair at the same time. Instead of saying ‘your dress looks pretty’, say ‘Your dress makes you look like a Christmas tree, Ha!’ Say it with a sense of humor or laugh, and briefly touch their hair or dress; or even ask them to turn around and see if they get fat. Girls will not be angry at these, instead they will feel more comfortable with you.

Look! Now you are different from the other guys!

Don't kiss-n-tell

We all learned in high-school that we shouldn’t kiss-and-tell. But do you understand why? Here’s a case you want to read about. The story is real but names are changed to protect their privacy.

Enters Ron, decent guy, smart and confident, well-educated; and Samantha, quite good-looking, professional lady, independent but can also be sweet. I was the common friend and I introduced them. They seem to have something going on about a week after their initial meeting. Ron called and told me that Samantha seems to be interested in him. Ron was bragging about how she kept calling and wanted to go out with him. Good progress, I thought. Then about a week later Samantha also called me to chat. She was asking me if Ron is a nice guy (effectively asking for my opinion). I told Samantha I thought they’re already progressed quite a long way. But she was totally surprised and asked me where I got the idea from. So I told him what Ron said. Samantha turned really mad. She said Ron was exaggerating and what he sad was equivalent to bad-mouthing her. She said she will avoid Ron from then on. Poor Ron, he had a good start and seem to be progressing well, but as far as I know, it’s GAME OVER for Ron.

What is the lesson here? Guys pay attention. Don’t kiss and tell. Girls will find out one way or another. And you know why Samantha is mad? She said she thought Ron is a nice guy and definitely was interested in him. But since Ron couldn’t keep his mouth shut to brag around, Samantha was turned off. She said she’s a professional, what if she slept with Ron and Ron goes around telling everyone. She had a good network of clients and colleagues which she depended on to do her business. She does not want these stories and rumors ruining her career. She hates guys who “kiss-n-tell”. So, Ron could have got laid if he shut his mouth. But he didn’t, so he didn’t.