meeting girls at a cocktail party

How else can you show off your charm during a cocktail party conversation? What if a conversation turns boring, how do you rescue it? (or bail as fast as you can?)

I’ve told you that you should remember people’s names and what they do. It’s very important. It comes in handy when you want to control the pace of the conversation. When you take control, you immediately elevate yourself into a position of slightly higher authority. It’s a socio-psychological thing. When some jerk just won’t stop talking, you could simply divert attention by inviting others to join in the conversation. You can say something like, “so, what do you think John, you’re a lawyer, right?” Also, you can go around asking people’s opinion on just about anything. “What’s your take on this, Sam, our engineer here.” With this simple skill, you can also divert attention away from some boring bastard who thinks he’s the center of the world; you can save a boring conversation from plunging into the depths beyond redemption.

The point is not about the conversation itself. The point is to have the guts to speak up and take control of the pace of the conversation. When you go around and asking people to speak, you’re like the host of a show. You control the conversation. Women will perceive you as someone in power, in control.

This is how you “stand out”, even if you don’t have the looks. It takes practice, this is just a general guideline, attend some parties and develop your own skill.

meeting girls at a cocktail part

If you’re able to control the flow of a conversation, you have an advantage at cocktail parties. Women will be charmed by your confidence and skill.

As I said in the previous article, you should have remembered people’s names and what they do after chatting with them. This information will come in handy. For example, a lady tells you about her home-based small business and how she needs an accountant to help her close the books for the year, and you happened to have met an accountant that evening, you could tell her, “I just happened to know Dave over there, who might be able to help you. Let me introduce.” Then you should accompany her, walk her over to Dave and stay with the conversation as much as possible. Afterwards, ask her if Dave is helpful.

Now, let’s see. You’ve just done her a favor. You’ve given her the impression that you’re well-connected. And if you stayed with the conversation, you’ve shown her that you care enough to make sure Dave is helping her, and also, make sure Dave doesn’t steal her from you!

Damn, I’m smooth. Hope this helps. Go practise, guys!

meeting girls at a cocktail party

At cocktail parties, some guys just seem to attract women naturally, well, just not you! But why? What can you do to improve your charm? It’s not just looks that count, although good looks help. But for nerds like you, there are things you can do to improve you chances. In this issue, we talk about conversation techniques.

The number one fear people face when entering a cocktail party is about starting a conversation. You stand at the entrance like an idiot while everyone already has someone to talk to. You feel awkward and pretend to head for the food/drinks and put one sweating hand inside your pocket. NO, this is not the way! You can do better than this.

You gotta start a conversation ASAP. If you keep standing alone, you’ll just look like a loser. Here’s how. Observe the people who are already engaged in a conversation. By the looks on people’s faces you can tell if you’re welcome to join in the conversation. If you lack such sensitivity, just don’t try to break into a conversation where both parties seem to be emerged in their own worlds. You’ll be rudely interrupting. You might try to join in a conversation that seemed to be a little dry. Perhaps you are the person to light up the dried conversation. Sometimes it’s rude to interrupt, but you can tell by the body and facial cues that some people don’t mind you joining in. Join in the conversation soon to establish your “base” in the cocktail party. Learn people’s names and what they do by heart because this will come handy later on.

More later…how to control the pace and dictate a conversation.

So, you’re at a cocktail party, dressed to impress. Then you see her. You walk up to say hello and introduce yourself. You feel a rush and you blushed. Your tongue is tied and you didn’t know what else to say. Then, she loses interest and walks away after a superficial “nice meeting you and see you around.”. Bummer! You lost again! Guys, you gotta do better than this.

Now I’m gonna teach you the right way to approach an attractive female in cocktail parties.

There are a few simple rules that you should observe. It’s a cocktail, not a buffet dinner! There might be some finger-food served, but please don’t eat like a pig. Carrying a plate with ten kinds of snacks while struggling with a glass of wine makes you clumsy and silly-looking. Not only will you be unable to shake hands with other people, you will likely spill your wine too. So, it’s better to skip the food entire. Just carry a glass of wine and free up the other hand. If you need to eat, eat quickly and finish as soon as you can.

Remember she also came to the cocktail to meet people. Therefore you shouldn’t monopolize her time. If a third person approaches and try to join in the conversation, don’t feel pressured, and don’t try to shut the other person out either verbally or even physically. It’s simply immature and childish to do so. In fact, you should try to direct the conversation; this will put you in a leadership position among the three (or more) of people talking in the group. And if you have interesting topics and stories to share, she will be impressed.

next time, I’ll teach you how to manipulate conversation topics…good luck guys