Confidence

Looks isn’t all that counts. Have you noticed that it’s not necessarily good looks that make a guy popular? Ever wondered why that bald pig, as you call him, is with a young hot lady. Most guys arrive at the conclusion: she’s after his money, he’s just a rich bastard; yea yea yea, that’s just the sour grapes! But if you’re serious about improving your chances with the ladies, you should ask questions in more depth. Learn from others’ strengths and mistakes.

It’s really the success, power and confidence of men that attracts women. If a man is successful, there is something charming about him that women find sexy. Men in powerful positions have an ability to influence and motivate others. This kind of emotional power over others can capture women’s hearts easily. Similarly, men with confidence are more attractive to women.

So, what does it mean for you nerds? You gotta have Confidence! Stop acting like a nerd. Build your self-esteem. How to have confidence? Well, I’m not your mom. But I’ll share a little bit. I think the major factors are (1) do something, be someone, (2) asserting yourself, and (3) communication skills.

at the movies

Seeing a movie is an essential part of dating. Listen nerds, you need to get it right. These are the things you need to pay attention to:

1. Choosing the right film: women are emotional, so for goodness’ sake don’t bring her to a war movie, stupid teenage horror flicks or any movie with blood and gore (such as Alien vs Predator), or Hollywood action movies. Women simply don’t feel for wars, monsters from outer space or kung-fu actions. If you think it’s okay to bring a girl to these movies, you have a problem. It’s actually YOU who want to see the movie, right? So it’s just all about YOU. Did you consider whether she will enjoy it? With women, it’s better to choose something warm and fuzzy, touching and humorous. If she’s the sentimental type, choose a movie that makes her cry, if she’s outgoing, choose humor. Is it that difficult? How come so many guys still get it wrong?
2. Buying the ticket: Plea…se, buy your tickets in advance. Guys are lazy, I know. Are you gonna make her stand in line with you? She’s in her high heels, and it’s cold(or hot) outside. And she has to stand in line to get tickets. Worse still, if it’s sold out then your movie plan is gone. Or perhaps there’re only seats left in the front row and the back corner. It just looks bad on you. In the United States, your ticket allows you to walk in and sit wherever. So please arrive early and make sure you get good seats. In Asia, most theaters have assigned seats so it’s not a big problem.
3. Inside the theater: Movie theaters are cold. Show that you care by offering her your coat. If she cries during the movie, give her some tissue paper. (proper tissue paper please, not those leftover napkins from the corner Chinese restaurant that was left in your pocket since 2 months ago). And please turn off your cell phone. This isn’t a problem in the Western world but seem to be in Asia. Once in China, some guy next to me answered his phone during a movie. Come on, it’s basic social etiquette. What’s wrong with you people?

A lot of nerds will do/think this way: Wow I really like/admire this girl, let me call her all the time and see if she would go out with me. Big mistake!

DO NOT call the girls at all! I repeat DO NOT call the girls at all. Even if you do, keep it shortly, keep the phone conversation under 2 minute, period. Girls are sensible animals, if they sense ‘Oh my god! This guys is calling me all the time, and he’s not cute’, you will be immediately flagged ‘Loser’ on your face. You will never be able to score that girl.

Let me ask all of your: Have you tried being ditched by a girl at the last minute with some lame reason? ‘Oh my cousin is in town!’, ‘Oh I did not feel well!’, ‘Oh I have to stop by my friends’ birthday!’ These are all lame reasons. They ditch you because you are Not Important to her. Period. Do not give yourself excuse. You are probably calling her too many times and freaking her out. She is probably not interested in you. You Losers!

Here is what you should do. To keep in touch with girls, do not call them all the time. Talking on the phone does not help scoring her. Meeting her in person is the key. So you got what I mean, everything single time you pick up the phone and call the girl, there is one and only one purpose: to ask her out, nothing else. To avoid awkward situation, I suggest sending the girls SMS (Text message) rather than calling her.

When asking the girls out via SMS, there are 2 rules.

Rule number 1: Never send a close question like ‘Do you want to go out on Sat night?’ In this case she will feel weird and just say ‘No’ and make up some lame excuse to ditch you. Instead, you should ask an open-ended question, like ‘Hey what are you doing Saturday?’ This way, you give her a chance to invite you to ask her out :. If the girl is a little playful or interested I you, she will usually say ‘Oh nothing much, Why?’ What she really means is ‘Oh do you want to ask me out, stud?’ You are half-way towards success.

Rule number 2: Do not make the girl feels that she’s important. Let’s say the girl says ‘Oh nothing much, why?’, then you should say this ‘Oh I and couple friends are going to this bar tonight, do you want to join us?’ See this is very natural and usually the girl will say ‘yes’. Why? Because it seems like you are cool, and what’s more important, you do not seem like a freak or stocker. If she says ‘no’, no big deal, you can be cool and say ‘oh next time then’ and ask her out next time. Again, the key is not to make the girl feel she’s important, so do NOT twist around the date/time/event as if she’s the princess. You have to have a standpoint and that’s what the girls like.

When you go out with her, you can simply bring some friends out and let the girl join (make sure you do not bring another nerd/loser!) or you can just make up some excuse like ‘Oh my friends could not make it’

Good luck on asking her out!

How do you ask a girl out for dinner, being a nerdy guy like you? First, did you do your research? Do you know what kind of food she likes? This is very important. If you did your homework, it will increase your chance of success asking her out for a memorable dinner; the reverse is also true. So, for example, if you ask her to go out for Japanese food, and she flatly rejects and tells you that, of all cuisines, she hates Japanese the most. Bummer! Silence on the phone…there’s not much you can do then. And you’ve done poorly, she probably thinks that you’ve known her for quite some time and you still don’t know she hates Japanese food and it reflects badly on you.

So how do you ask?

You need techniques:

1. Testing her with the right questions: You can throw a teaser line such as “haven’t had French food for a while, I heard there’s a new restaurant which is pretty good”. Her response tells a lot. If she’s interested she will follow on with the topic. If you’re not that bold. You can also ask, “Where do you go for a nice meal with your friends these days?” If you’re lucky enough that she takes the initiative, you need to spot the opportunity. Don’t laugh, many guys aren’t sensitive enough to notice. She’ll probably say something like “haven’t had French food for a while…”, then you should take the hint and say “Yea, I’ve been thinking about having French food too, so, when would you be free?”
2. Asking for a day/time to meet: Don’t do the following – “Are you free on Friday?”. That’s just poor technique. It makes it easy for her to reject you. What if she flatly says “No”? Then your back is against the wall. Heard of open-ended questions? You should have asked “When is a good time next week?” This is more difficult to reject. Is she gonna say “I’m not free all next week”, perhaps, but much less likely, unless she really hates you.
3. A place to meet: In the US, most people drive. But in Asia we all live in crowded metropolitans. So pick somewhere easy for her to find, safe, and not too crowded. If you pick somewhere crowded, hot, hard-to-find, she’ll doubt your ability to plan a decent dinner.